Hard Times: Chapter 5 "Resilience"

“Resilience”



Uncle Carlin was a bastard. He always thought he knew what he was doing but he really didn’t. Before the crew from the Bridge Camp came down it was disaster. Carlin had committees in charge of everything. The only thing that came off as planned were the parties most every night. It was fun at first but after a while even I could figure out it was no way to run a work crew. There was lots of music, dance and homemade brew but the only ones who were working were the Bridge crew. Sugar tried to talk some sense into him but he always had some lame excuse. It kept up our spirits. Shit like that. So every night the Bridge crew retired early, got up at dawn and went to work. After a while the other workers followed their example and it made a difference.

I know all this second hand of course. I listen good and ask a lot of questions. Carlin thought he was going to be the big man but he was a fuck up. What can I say?

One of the reasons I ran off after my parents was I couldn’t stand the idea of having to listen to the guy bossing everyone around. It was like being in the Boy Scouts: yes, sir! I knew what I was doing. Everyone says its dangerous at night but me and my friends have been all over this town after dark. Mom was either asleep or she didn’t really care. She knew I could take care of myself.

Mom thought I stopped going with her to look for dad because it made me sad. The truth is I went looking for him myself. I probably would have found him too but me and the boys were afraid to go anywhere near the bridge. We heard there was no one but killers and thieves living there. Shows how much we knew.

I caught up to them at the Bridge Camp. They just stayed around long enough to have a bite to eat, shoot the shit with Sugar and hit the road. I hung back and stayed out of sight until they hooked up with a solar crawler on a country road. You have to jog a little to keep up with a crawler but the thing is as long as the sun shines it keeps going. I followed them for maybe five miles before they pulled over for a lunch break. I hunched over down the road to keep an eye on them and think things through. I decided I better come clean. I might stay up with them for the rest of the day; then again I might not. We were already a good clip from home so I decided to take a chance.

Mom stood up for me right away. Dad wanted to turn around and take me back home but mom said I could handle it. They argued it back and forth with me pretty much staying out of it. Then dad said okay. I couldn’t believe it. He told mom I could go along as long as I pulled my weight and didn’t complain any more than he did. Dad was all right. I could tell he was proud of me for sneaking off. It made me think it was his idea all along.

I remember when they were talking about making this trip. Mom was purposed to go. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. At one point dad said: well, if you’re going why don’t we take Denim and Charlie? Keep the whole family together. It was a joke but he gave me look like maybe I could go, maybe I was old enough and smart enough to handle it.

When they were saying goodbye pop pulled me aside and said: Son, if you ever need to know where we’re going, if something happens where you need to know, Sugar can show you the way. That’s when I knew to trust Sugar more than Uncle Carlin. Dad trusted Sugar. So I think they knew I was coming if I had the guts to do it. They never told me straight up but I think they knew.

I didn’t care what people said. I didn’t care how dangerous it was. To me it was a chance to go somewhere and see how other people lived.

We all got on the crawler and went down the road. They let me drive until I got bored which was real soon because it went so slow. We counted crows. There must have been a million of them. We played games and just talked. But when we came across other people, walking or on a crawler or on some other vehicle, we got quiet and paid attention. Some people made you think twice like they were sizing you up or something. Like they wanted to scare you or keep their distance. Most people were real nice, smiling and saying hello as we crawled by. Some of them were kids around my age. I would’ve liked to play with them but I didn’t want to slow us down. Dad said there’d be some kids where we were going and he was right too.

When the sun went down we pitched a tent and made a fire a little ways off the road. Usually we found a place people had already camped. It was like dad knew where these places were and I guess maybe he did. He’d been down this road a few times now and he knew a lot of the people who lived and traveled here.

That first night we camped out dad told us the story of when he found Cinn – or the way he tells it the night she found him. Cinn just beamed like she knew we were talking about her and I bet she did. She’s a smart dog – always telling you when something’s out of line. Every time we came across a suspicious looking character Cinn would growl real low just to tell us to be alert. Dad says she’s smarter than him but I don’t think that’s so. He was smart enough to take her on and she was smart enough to stick with him. Mom says that’s how things work: give and take. Problems come around when someone takes more than they give and you should think twice when someone offers you something for nothing.

That dog loves dad but Cinn and I became good friends during our adventure. Dad was always busy talking to people, planning things and doing work. So Cinn tagged along with me. A lot of people think Cinn is short for Cindy but it really stands for Cinnamon. Pop said it came from a song – a pretty good song too. Some people out at the Sun Camp played it one time and Cinn was jumping and dancing like she knew it was for her. She’s a good dog and she sure is smarter than I am. Any way you look at it we’re lucky to have her. Some folks wanted dad to put her on a leash but he refused. She’s as free as I am he said but he did give her a blue bandana to wear around her neck and she seemed to like that.

Our first stop on the second day out was the farm where dad had a lot of friends. They took us in, fed us and treated us real good like we were family. There was one guy there who wasn’t so friendly. Cinn gave out a growl every time she saw him and she was right too. I guess they had some history together. He lived with his wife and kids in a big house where nobody went. Dad said he was the Boss Man before things changed. Said he made a profit working people like slaves. Said he made a lot of money off the sweat of honest workers. I had to ask him what he meant by that. Mom chimed in to tell me that they used to work for money instead of rations or credits – like I didn’t know that. She said a business would hire you to do a job. Then they took the money you made from that job and gave you the worker some of the money. The rest he kept for himself.

I thought about that for a long time. There was no such thing as real money any more (I mean people had it but it wasn’t worth anything). There were still games though that had play money and the idea was you took as much as you could get. Whoever had the most money won the game. It was fun but it was just a game. Seemed like a strange way to run the real world. I like it better when the people who work get the credits. I think mom and dad felt that way too.

The people at the Farm Camp were what we call hard working folks. They raised the crops, took care of the animals, built the cabins they lived in, made repairs and kept everything in working order. They cooked the meals and saw to it that no one was hungry and everyone was comfortable with what they had. Seemed like everyone was happy there. Except the Boss Man. I got to play with the Boss Man’s kids a couple times but they really weren’t much fun. They didn’t like to get dirty. They liked indoors games. Mom likes those games too. She says we can learn a lot of good lessons from the right kind of game. Me? I like checkers and all but I’d rather be out playing as long as it’s not raining.

One of the Boss Man’s kids was a girl named Rachel. She was kind of cute I guess. Anyways I think she liked me ‘cause she asked if I wanted to kiss her. I told her no way but then I got to thinking about it. I saw lots of guys kissing girls back home. They said it was the bomb. Made ‘m kind of stupid. The next time I said why not. I kissed her right there in the open. I guess her mom saw us and that was the end of that. After that I wasn’t allowed to play with them. No big deal. There were other kids to play with in the camp.

Mom and dad were all serious and didn’t have much time to look after me. They were always talking to people about how things worked and what they needed to make things better. Dad had his notebook and was always writing in it. There were lots of drawings and lists but there were also stories about the people we met and the way they got by. There were stories about me and Charlie and mom and everyone else but pop caught me before I could read much. He told me it was a private matter but he hoped someday I would read them all so I could tell him what I thought. He said I might want to collect stories myself some day. I liked the idea of that so I started my own notebook and put something in it most every day.

There was a big man – kind of dark-skinned but I couldn’t tell if it was the sun’s work or he was born that way – who seemed to run things for the most part. He was called Leon. Pop hung around with Leon most of the time and mom hung around with Leon’s girl Margie. They got along real well. Mom said they looked at things with the same eyes.

One time me and Juan, one of my buds at the farm, sneaked over to where Leon and pop were talking with some other guys. Leon was afraid of the Boss Man. He said the boss was trying like hell to get rid of him. He blamed him and pop for everything that happened which was all good the way they told it and the way I believe it too. The Boss Man was making some threats. They used some language I can’t even write down. Leon said he was about to take matters into his own hands. Burn that damn house down! Pop said he shouldn’t do that. Start a war and what all. Hatfield’s and McCoy’s. Red and Blue. North and South. All that gang war stuff. Pop said he had a plan and he’d take care of it. He did too.

That night after supper pop called everyone together. Leon warned him there were Boss Man spies and stooges and folks they called scabs (I guess they called ‘m that ‘cause you’re not supposed to pick at them) but pop said never mind he wanted all of them there. He told them straight up he knew that Mr. Connelly (that’s the boss man) recruited them to cause trouble and break up any attempt to organize the workers into a united group. They called it a union. He said he knew they were up to some other bad things too and it wasn’t going to work.

One man with a bald head shouted out: Who appointed you to speak for anyone? Dad said we would find out in a little while who he spoke for. Then he said: We all know who you speak for! Everybody started nodding their heads at that. Pop had ‘m. Like they all knew who was telling the truth. He said they were going to have a vote and everyone was expected to honor the vote and if they didn’t they had to leave. The stooges didn’t like the sound of that but all they could do was grumble like a bunch of third graders. They had a contract all typed out that said the workers would have a say on who got hired and who got fired. It said some other things too but it seemed like that was the most important thing.

They passed out pencils and papers to all the workers. A yes meant they wanted the union and wanted to join in and a no meant they didn’t want any part of it. They waited for people to make their votes and then they gathered ‘m up and counted ‘m one by one. After a while it was pretty clear how the vote would turn out but they counted ‘m all anyway. Pop’s side won real easy and then they chose some people to lead the union. Leon was elected president and pop was real happy about that. He called it a victory for the working people.

The next day Leon and pop and the people they elected went to meet with the boss man in the big house. I don’t know what was said but when they came out everyone was happy and shaking hands. Even the stooges seemed okay with it. Mom told me they changed their minds and they were going to join up too.

That night they built a big fire and had a celebration. There was lots of food with cakes and cookies and music and dancing and laughing and hollering. It was great fun for us kids. We ran around like free souls doing whatever we felt like doing as long as we didn’t cause any trouble. It was a lot more fun than the parties we had back home. Mom said these people had music in their souls. I asked her if I had music in my soul and I got a little worried when she didn’t answer straight away. She looked me in the eyes for a spell like she was looking past all the wrong things I ever did or said and told me I had as much music in my soul as anyone else. She said it was up to me to keep it that way.

We left in the morning right after breakfast. I could tell mom and dad really liked the farm so I asked them why we had to go. Mom told me we were on a great adventure and what kind of adventure would it be if we stayed the first place we came to. I couldn’t argue with that even though I liked the farm a lot and I wouldn’t have had a problem if we decided to stay there. Dad told me I’d like the next place we were going almost as much or maybe even more. He said there were kids there and the whole place was run by young people. I asked if there was music there and he winked at me: Son, one thing I’ve learned is there’s music everywhere you go.

It was a long haul to the Sun Camp. We had to camp out three nights before we got there. I have to admit I wasn’t used to camping out in the country. There were animals out there I never heard before. Cinn would bark if they got too close to camp but she didn’t run off after them. She was too smart for that. Mom and dad would tell me what they were: There were hoot owls, raccoons, possums, coyotes and a couple of mountain lions. Those mountain lions are real scary when you’re out there under the stars at night. Dad said they’re still afraid of humans but the day would come when they lost their fear. He said they used to stay up in the mountains but now they came down to where people were because they were losing their fear of humans. People didn’t kill the big cats like they used to because there were no guns – or no bullets to put in the guns. He said we should be afraid of the big cats and other animals too but that we shouldn’t worry too much because he had this special dart gun that Carlin’s friends came up with. It had a chemical to it that was supposed to knock a big animal down without killing it. I was glad we didn’t have to use it because I wasn’t too sure how well it would work. I didn’t say anything but half the things Carlin and his friends worked out didn’t work at all.

We had to camp off the road so no one could see us. Dad said we had to be cautious. Even Cinn stayed quiet out there. Dad talked about how things had changed since the first time he went down that road. It was safer because the people from the Sun Camp and other places he didn’t know much about were patrolling it. They kept the road clean and made repairs. Dad said the first time he was here there were old cars that didn’t run any more all over the place. They cleared ‘m out. Things were a lot better now so we could make good time and no one would bother us. Twice we saw people dad knew going the other way on crawlers. We stopped to talk to them and get reports. They told us everything was good and they were waiting for us at the Sun Camp.

One night we had to put the fire out and wait real quiet so some loud people in a truck wouldn’t see us. Pop tucked Cinn under his arm and whispered for her to be quiet too. Turned out it wasn’t anything to worry about but it was a little scary.

On the third day we turned off on a dirt road with some rocks covering it and went real slow for a long time. Then we stopped and dad put a flag up a long pole. He said it would tell the people at the camp we were coming and not to be afraid. Everyone had to be cautious.

When we got there we were all really tired. They were real nice. They took us in like family – especially pop. You could tell right away they had a lot respect for him. They couldn’t wait to show him all the projects they were working on and he couldn’t wait to see it. Me and mom sat down to eat while dad went off with a guy named Zar. A lot of them had funny names like that but that’s okay because everyone’s different. It doesn’t mean they aren’t good people. They are. They were really good people. Most of the kids were little but there were two boys and two girls that were about my speed. The boys were Boz and Phoenix. The girls were Cloud and River and they were real cute. Two boys and two girls meant that I was the guy without a dance partner. That’s what Boz said. That made me a little mad. It made me want to prove him wrong. Not that I ever danced with a girl before but him thinking that I was the one left out. That was about the time I started thinking about girls. River was real pretty and sweet. She was Phoenix’s sister and she was not a girly girl. She kept us with us boys pretty good. Cloud was nice too and she liked to run with us. I guess they were brought up like that. They didn’t have to act like girls and wear dresses and all unless they wanted to. I thought they were cool.

Naturally the minute I decided I liked River, Cloud decided she liked me. Why does that always happen? Back home that would have threw me off but this was a different kind of place so I decided to be cool. Turns out Cloud was the best girl I ever met. She took a liking to Cinn too and we started hanging out together all the time. She showed me where they made a pond in the creek and how they were turning out electricity from running water. She showed me other things too. Like where they made solar panels. They take light from the sun and turn it into power. That place was real clean and we had to be really careful. There was another place where they made the solar crawlers. Some of those crawlers were getting too fast for their name. They were made of bike wheels and lightweight aluminum.

They had this gigantic room where everybody got together for meals and meetings. They had a windmill in the yard and they were making electricity from that too. The food was really good even though they didn’t eat meat here. They explained why that was a good thing too. Everything about this place was good. Even school wasn’t boring like it was back home. We learned everything we needed to know about how things work and how to build things and how to make electricity from wind, water and the sun. We learned about what they called “renewable energy” and how to stop killing the planet we live on. I never thought I’d say it but school was just all right and we still had plenty of time to play. Holly was one of our teachers and he said playing was just as important as reading books. I couldn’t agree more. But I liked the books we read too. Everything about this place was cool. Even after I got in a fight with Boz because he was treating Cloud mean things were okay. Me and my parents got together with Boz and his parents and worked things out. I understood why he was mad and he understood why I was mad and we both understood there were better ways to handle things than to fight over it. We shook hands and now we’re good friends again – even better than we were before.

Mom and dad thought we were real funny, Cloud and me. But I didn’t mind. We were having fun and learning things at the same time. We didn’t mess around or anything but I did kiss her. I liked it. We both liked it but we made a vow not to tell anyone – especially our parents. Cloud’s parents were really cool like mine but it was no use pushing our luck. You never know when parents are going to draw a line in the sand. That’s just what parents are supposed to do.

After a while I decided I liked the Sun Camp better than any other place. It was better than the farm and better than the Bridge Camp and damned sure better than back home with Carlin and everyone. I know I shouldn’t say that. I love grandma a lot but she’s not like she used to be. It’s not her fault she can’t remember things. I love Aunt Joan and her kids even if they are spoiled brats. I like Uncle Bud and Aunt Mildred and even Carlin ain’t as bad as I thought he was. Mom explained to me why he was the way he was and I sort of understood it’s not his fault either. It’s just the way things are. Still, if I had my choice, this is the place I would want to live. Like mom said to Holly, it’s a great place to raise kids.

One night before bed (we were living in a great cabin) I worked up the nerve to ask my parents straight up: Why can’t we live here? They looked at each other and smiled before dad said: We can and we’re giving it some thought. Something like that. I didn’t push my luck. I really expected them to tell me our place was back home with our family. It put a smile on my face to think we might end up here. It was a great place and we were happy here. Of course we’d have to go get Charlie. That’s for sure.

Jeez I didn’t even talk about the music. It’s like half the people here play the guitar and the other half plays the drums. All the kids either dance or play drums too. They sit around in a big circle every Friday night. Someone plays every night but the big circle is on Fridays. There are a couple of fiddles and some flutes too. It doesn’t even matter if you have someone to dance with you just get out there and dance. We were there for two circles and I never had so much fun. That’s the best time I ever had.

We had to go the day after the circle. I didn’t want to leave and I don’t guess mom and dad wanted to either but we had to. We had to get back because people were counting on us. There was business that had to get done. We got on a solar train – that’s four crawlers tied together. Two couples were going with us. That made six adults and me and Cinn.

We just said our goodbyes after breakfast and headed out. All the kids were there and Cloud looked a little sad. I whispered in her ear: Don’t worry we’ll be back. She said: You promise and I said yes. That made her smile. Boz and Phoenix and River and Cloud followed us a long way down the road but they stopped at the flagpole. Then we waved goodbye again and that was it.

One crawler was stacked full of panels and stuff for the other camps. Ours was in the back and it was about half full of stuff which left plenty of room for us. Holly and Janis were in the crawler in front of us and in front of them were Zar and Jo. It was real bumpy on that dirt road but when we got down to the main road things were smooth sailing.

We were cruising along having a pretty good time looking around and all when all of a sudden Zar threw up his hand for us to stop and Cinn started growling. Pop had to put on the brakes from our car or the train would crash. Brakes were a new thing on these crawlers. They were like bike brakes and they worked pretty well. Everyone had to get down and get out their dart guns. They all had one except me. Pop went down to talk to Zar and see what was going on. There was a big tree trunk lying across the road. There was no rain or big wind lately so they figured it was an ambush. Sure enough these guys came out with bandanas over their face so you couldn’t tell who they were. Pop recognized one of them right away. He came back and told us to stay down. He was going over there to talk to them. He didn’t seem too worried but maybe he was. I know I was scared and mom kept looking around like she expected more of them to come out on both sides of the road. But there weren’t nobody on the side of the road. There was only these guys in front of us. Six of them against seven of us.

Dad and Zar went over there and stopped about twenty paces short. I heard dad tell one of them he knew exactly who he was. He said we weren’t giving up our cargo. We weren’t giving them anything and if he knew what was what he’d clear that log out and go back the way they came. The next thing you know Cinn took off running and one of those men threw an ax in my dad’s direction. He ducked it easy enough and Zar plugged the man they were talking to with a dart. I watched his knees wobble like he was made of jello and then he fell to his face and the rest of them took off running. Ain’t seen nothing like it before or since. It’s a lucky thing no one was hurt.

Pop and Zar looked him over all sprawled out on the ground to see if he was dead or alive. They saw he was still breathing so they tied him up by his wrists and ankles and put him on a crawler. After they took off his bandana we saw that it was the same bald headed man that was yelling at pop back at the farm. Pop said Boss Man Frank must have sent him so we were taking him back there to see what was what. It must have taken us half a day to roll that log off the road. Some folks came by in their own crawler and helped us. By that time it was already near sundown so we made camp a little ways down, the first place we could turn off that was safe. That’s where we saw two men hanging from a tree. There was a sign on ‘m that said “Thieves.” Mom covered my eyes but I saw it clear as day. Like Jo said it just goes to show it’s still dangerous out here. I could tell mom and dad were real disappointed. They cut ‘m down and buried ‘m in shallow graves without any markers. I guess we figured they deserved some respect but not that much. Nobody said any prayers or anything but we talked about how hard it was just to live and it was understandable how some people turn to robbing and stealing things. It was wrong of course but it was still understandable.

The man we had tied up woke up after a while and admitted that the boss man sent him to ambush us. He said the boss man knew which way we’d be coming. They had a look out up in a tree so they knew when to let that log fall on the road. He told us they weren’t planning on hurting anyone. They just wanted to put a scare in us and take our stuff. He said they were going to take it in the back way so the workers wouldn’t see. Pop didn’t believe the part about not hurting anyone and reminded him about that ax. He just shrugged his shoulders and didn’t say anything. Holly said he was damn lucky to be alive and told him about the thieves who got hanged for doing the same thing. He didn’t know what to say about that. I guess he knew he was lucky.

Everyone took turns standing watch that night just in case one of those guys was still around looking for trouble. Nothing happened though so I guess they learned their lesson. I had to admit those dart guns worked pretty good.

We had no more problems the rest of the way. We camped out with other people that dad knew. They were making campgrounds up and down this road. There were two other kids my age at one camp. We hung out and talked. I told them about the thieves being hanged and the ambush and their eyes got wide open like maybe they didn’t believe me until I told them we had us one of the ambushers tied up. So we all went over to look at him. He was real quiet like he was sad and sorry at the same time. There was some talk about letting him go but dad said it was important we took him back to the farm. One of the kids asked him if he was a thief. He just shrugged and said he’d tell us all about it if we untied him. That’s when Holly came over and told us to leave the man alone. Said the last thing they needed was having to look after some kids who didn’t know what was what. He said that man just might kill us if he had to in order to escape. That was good enough for us.

When we finally got back to the farm we found out the word traveled faster than we did. They were waiting for us and they knew all about the man we had tied up as prisoner. They hauled him off and talked to him for a long time. I don’t know what all they said but it got pretty heated in there. There was some loud talking and some yelling too. Later they hauled him up to the big house where the boss man looked like he ate something funny as soon as he saw the man’s face. Leon said they knew what the boss man was up to and he wasn’t going to get away with it. He said that they’d talked to the authorities already and they didn’t care who ran the place as long as it got done. He said they were down to their last spot of patience and the next time he tried something like this he and his family would be out on the street and it’d be his fault too. Then he told the boss man to give up the rations he’d promised to the man who was still tied up so they could give it to him and send him on his way. He said they were planning to inspect his private warehouse out back to see what all he’d stolen from people. Sure enough they found some things too.

The boss man was real flustered. He kept looking at his wife and his kids and the thugs who were supposed to protect him but they weren’t moving a muscle. He went from saying it was all a misunderstanding to it was a mistake to agreeing with everything Leon said. He put up the rations he’d promised and Leon was true to his word. They untied him, gave him his rations and sent him on his way. The last thing Leon said to him though was that he should go as far as he could as fast as he could because if they ever saw him again there would be hell to pay. Those are his words not mine.

We stayed there for a couple days to get things going with the solar panels and all; also to make sure there was no more trouble. Pop said if anything went wrong they should send a runner and we’d get a lot of people there real quick.

From there we went on down to the Bridge Camp. Sugar was real happy to see us. He heard about all the things we been through and said he was sorry even though it wasn’t his fault. He was waiting for supplies too and he was happy to get them. He told us everything was fine back home even though some people were losing their patience with Carlin. So then I knew I wasn’t the only one who had a problem with Uncle Carlin. We stayed the night, ate a good dinner in a brand new house made out of those special bricks and made our way home in the morning.

I’ve got to say I was really glad to get home. It was a great adventure but we were bone tired and ready to rest. They were all happy to see us – especially me. I almost forgot that I snuck off. I guess you could say I ran away. They weren’t mad though. They had a cake and everyone was happy. Grandma gave me a big hug and asked me if I missed her like she missed me. I almost bawled. The last time I saw grandma I wasn’t sure she knew who I was. She asked me if I was sorry I ran off and I had to say yes even though it wasn’t true.

The truth is: I had the best time of my life. No matter what happened I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Mom said these are my memories. They’re my most valuable possessions and I should hang on to them as long as I can. I told her I would.